I have posted earlier about some issues I had this year at school. I had to deal with some things head on to make sure my child was having his needs met. It has been a few weeks since then and my entire family is in a much happier place and more content with the situation. Sadly, some other parents in that class are not as happy and this week I was finally approached by them to see what my thoughts were.

I had heard the grumblings around school and I knew some other parents also had some concerns. It was only a matter of time before they wanted to talk to the one last parent who they had not grilled on the subject. Since things had gotten better for us, it was not really on my mind as much but clearly I am the minority there. I am a teacher and a mom. I don’t feel right talking about another teacher with other parents…even when my child is in the class. It was an uncomfortable moment and one I hope won’t be repeated.

I think that too often in schools, parents like to talk about a problem with each other but they don’t like to go to the source. They can also approach things when they are angry or upset and that usually leads nowhere. I did what I could to work “with” the teacher and offer support while making it clear some things needed to change. I realize I am a teacher so I had some suggestions to offer some other parents may not, but I hope the other parents find a way to reach out so they can all see some positive results and not more negativity.

Have you had issue with other parents at school talking about problems? How did you handle it?

I had a stressful week recently. There was an issue at school with my oldest, Jake, and it took a lot out of me to try to make things right. That said, it was what I had to do and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant getting something for my child that he needs and deserves.

When I became a mom I knew that I would do anything for my kids…it was just a given. I guess I just did not know what those “things” might be. As the boys have grown, I have gotten a better sense of what they may be fore each of them. Sometimes it is easy to do like making sure something is on the menu for my picky Sam before we eat out, but this past week I have to say was the toughest fight to date.

I am a teacher and I think it was this coupled with the issue being at school that made this particularly rough on me. Do I approach things as a mom or a teacher? How do those two sides of me work together? I had never had to think about it until now. As a teacher, I have dealt with parents who were pushy and thought they knew better than anyone at the school. I wanted to make sure I came across as an ally and not an enemy. We are still working on the issue at hand for Jake and I am hopeful I am being helpful and not a pain……..I guess only time will tell. One thing for sure is that I will push when I need to for my kids.

Have you ever had to fight for something for your Tween? At School? Sports?

My classroom is ready, uniforms are purchased and hanging in the closet, school supplies have been delivered to teachers, lunch box items are in the fridge and I am really not ready to get up at 6:30 everyday School starts for the boys and I this week. Even with the early start, I am ready to roll and so are the boys. We are looking forward to:

• Seeing old friends
• Making new friends
• Playing on the playground
• Cooler Weather
• Flag Football Games
• Dunkin Donuts stops before school
• After school clubs
• Class holiday parties
• Class Birthday parties
• Any school parties!
• Being thankful for another year to learn and grow and have lots of fun

We may whine a bit that first morning (or two:)) and we may miss being able to go out to lunch on a Tuesday at 11 or just hanging out at the pool, but we know that when June rolls around we will get those chances again. For now, we are all excited and eager to begin a new school year together.

How did your first days go? Are you settled in yet to the school year rhythm?

As some of you may know, I am a teacher. As most of you probably know…teachers don’t make huge salaries and we often need to purchase materials for our classrooms….out of our own pockets. I have done my shopping for my kiddos and we have all of the things we need to start the year off right. That said, I was looking for one last item…a luxury I suppose….I needed a coat rack for myself and my assistants. The other option would be to put them on the floor like I did last year

I knew I did not need anything fancy…used would do just fine. With that in mind, I posted on LeJeune Yard Sales. I said I was looking for a used coat rack and I would pay $15 for one. I was prepared to shell out the money and I was hopeful someone out there was looking to get rid of one. To my surprise, I got a reply that day and as an even bigger surprise…the gentleman who replied wanted to make me one…for FREE!

I told him I could not accept it for free, but he was clear that he wanted to do this for me. He stated that he liked to help the community, he had a wood shop and he made things for sale all the time. After a little more back and forth (and me pleading to pay), the rack was made and I picked it up this past weekend.

I felt guilty as I pulled away from his house with my free, handmade coat rack, but I really think he just wanted to help. I think he understands how hard teachers work and he saw a small way he could contribute to one classroom. Needless to say, I took a stack of his business cards and will tell everyone to contact him if they need anything made. I also made sure to explain all of this to Jake and Sam. I hope one day, they will see a similar opportunity to help someone and they will jump at the chance.

Have you ever had someone you don’t know reach out to help you? How did it make you feel?

On MomTalk, there is a discussion on communicating with teachers. As the school year comes to an end, it will be time for final conferences and for some families, decisions on placement or conversations on what they can do to help their child over the summer. It is also simply a time to say thank you to your child’s teacher and move on to the next level. No matter what issues or non issues you may have had throughout the year, good communication is critical to your child’s success in the classroom.

Jake hard at work in class.

As a parent, I am always careful to not play my other role of teacher when I talk with Jake and Sam’s teachers. I do know what it is like to be in the classroom, but I also know I am not in their classroom and I do not have my own child each day as a student. That said, I do know what I would like, as an educator, when I meet with parents. Some tips to ensure that you and your child’s teacher are on the same page and that when you do talk, it is meaningful, are:

• Bring up issues as soon as they arise
• Be respectful
• Be  pro-active
• Be open minded
• Make sure it is meaningful communication

There are many sites online that talk about communicating with your child’s teacher as well as some tools. Some examples are:

Parent Teacher Partnership

Helping Children Succeed In School by Communicating

Thank you note for Teacher

Absence Template

Teacher Appreciation

Student Profile (as requested by teacher, but a parent could simply send one in)

Have you had communication issues? What has worked for you?