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As children grow and develop, they can be easily influenced by what they see and hear, especially television. While television programs can be educational, many children watch too much television. TV programs can show children violent behavior that you do not want them to imitate, or that can cause fear. TV may also show children poor eating habits through commercials for high-calorie, low-nutrient foods. Too much TV watching can also take away time from reading, studying, learning activities, play, and/or exercise. Television can also show alcohol and/or drug use, smoking, and sexual behavior before a child is emotionally ready to understand these issues and practice good decision making.

Parents can help decrease the harmful effects of television watching by screening the type of programming and limiting the amount of time a child watches television. The following are suggestions for helping set good television viewing habits:

• Choose programs for your child to watch. Always plan what your child will see on TV. Do not turn on the TV randomly. Give choices between two programs you think are appropriate for your child.
• Limit TV viewing to 1 or 2 hours a day for children older than 2 years of age. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children younger than 2 years should not watch TV at all.
• Turn to educational shows from the local Public Broadcasting Station (PBS), or from programming such as Discovery Channel, Learning Channel, or History Channel.
• Watch TV with your child. Talk about what happened on the show. Talk about what was good or what was bad about the program. Talk about the difference between reality and make-believe.
• Turn the TV off if the program is something you believe your child should not see.
• Do not assume all cartoons are acceptable and appropriate, as many cartoons contain violence.
• Many daytime programs (such as soap operas and talk shows) are not appropriate for children.
• Be a good example to your child by not watching too much television yourself. Be involved in other activities, especially reading. Read to your child.
• Encourage play and exercise for your child. Plan other fun activities for your child, so he/she has choices instead of TV.
• Limit using TV as a reward for good behavior. Try a trip to the park, a festival, playground, or a visit to a relative’s/friend’s house instead.
• Television time should be decreased to one-half hour each day if your child is not doing well in school.
• Do not allow TV watching during meal times.

Are You At Your Mother’s House will be an ongoing series about the different rules and problems sharing a child between two households.

One of the biggest problems Mini has had adjusting to having two households is the different rules for television shows at each place.

Mini’s mother is a little less “hands-on” when it comes to what she watches or plays on the computer. Part of this is because they have satellite television, while we’re cable/broadcast television-free here. There’s a larger pool of shows Mini can find at her mother’s than in my apartment and this pool is mostly fed by whatever happens to be on when she’s home. I use NetFlix, Hulu and the availability of other online video sources, where there’s plenty of material to watch, but she’s got to have an idea of what she wants to watch, instead of just switching channels until something catches her eye.

One of the worst shows she watches is “Wizards of Waverly Place” on Disney. The show is based on the premise of having a family of teen wizards being taught magic by the former-wizard father as they live in New York City. That the show is poorly written and badly acted doesn’t bother me. It’s the horribly bad attitude that the young wizardess, Alex, has. She’s quick to criticize, lie, cheat and use her magic for her own good, even (and sometimes especially) at others’ harm.

Unfortunately, this portrayal of a willful, sarcastic and forceful young woman has become quite prevalent on children’s television shows. Mini, as do most children, will often replicate the behavior she sees as acceptable because it’s on these shows, sometimes with a laughtrack (and we all know that laughter means it’s okay, right?).

At first, it was a battle of wills when I told her that she couldn’t watch the show here. “But Mom let’s me watch it at home!” she’d say. My answer would be “Are you at your mother’s?” and she’d let it drop. It took a few months worth of weekends, but she doesn’t ask to watch that show anymore. There’s plenty more shows that are just as bad and only a few shows worth watching or worth letting Mini watch.

Our favorite show to watch is definitely Nickelodeon’s “iCarly”. It has a strong female lead, with a stable support group, it’s funny and smart and, though there is a steady flow of bad-attitude from a supporting character, there’s a definite understanding that she’s not a role model.

What shows do you allow, or not allow, your children to watch? How do you convince them that a show isn’t worth watching or that it’s not appropriate? Share your questions or ideas in the comments.