I had a rough week last week. I was sick, sicker than I have been in years. My throat was sore, my ears ached and I still had to get to work and get the boys where they needed to be. To top it off, Kerry was still away at school so I was on my own. After two trips to he doctor and a few prescriptions, I was not feeling any better. Thankfully, Jake and Sam stepped up to the plate to help their mom out.

It’s funny how even a 6 and 7 year old can tell when they are needed. I did not have to get after them about cleaning up, they played quietly when we got home from school each day and they understood when we got take out for just about every dinner. They made the week as easy as they could for me.  When mom gets sick it is rough for the entire family. With one parent gone, Jake and Sam really needed to bring their “A” game and they did:)

I am really proud of the way the boys behaved for me this past week. Luckily, I am on the mend (finally) and they can get their old mom back. We can laugh and have some fun instead of all the grouchiness and me in bed 10 minutes after them. While getting back to normal will still mean some dinners out (I am no cook afterall:)), at least I can eat with them with a smile on my face.

How do your Tweens behave when you are under the weather? Are they helpful?

Kerry is still on the job hunt and it is wearing me down. I have tried very hard to be positive….he has been able to work on base as an active reserve Marine while he continues his search, but I am at a point when I need a more stable situation. It is starting to take a toll on our family (my irritability that is) and a decision needs to be made. I know the boys can feel how stressed I am and I don’t want to be that mom to them much longer.

Some chocolate cake is definitely in order at our house

I know many families endure one or both parents looking for a new job. I also know many do so after losing their current employment. In that regard, we are fortunate. While Kerry weeds through contractor offers and federal applications, he is still getting a paycheck and our lives are relatively stable. That said, as a reservist, each new billet means new IDs and more paperwork and lots and lots of red tape. Going through that process 3 or 4 times now is about all I can bear.

As the year comes to an end we have our house up for sale, Kerry home from school and decisions to be made. It is a stressful time for all of us. I am just hopeful that a break for Thanksgiving and some news soon on the job front (we do expect some this week) will mean we can all relax a little and start to enjoy things again without this hanging over our heads. I work each day to focus on other things, but as each day passes, that becomes harder and harder. I guess I will just keep reminding myself that we have our health, each other and money to pay our bills. With the holiday approaching I think that is a good list to be thankful for. (now if only we could add a job that will last more than 3 months to that list we’d be thrilled!:))

Have you gone through a job hunt? How did you handle the stress?

This past week has been a hectic one. I can see that the coming week won’t be any less busy. There was a big build up to Halloween at home and school, a visit from my mom, car shopping, Kerry home and now a new month at work with conferences and Thanksgiving. There has never been a year that I have looked so forward to our family time at the beach for the holiday.

This is the first year I have truly worked outside of the home since I had Jake. I have worked from home teaching online and I was an assistant teacher last year, but this year I am the lead and it means a lot more work. I have more planning to do, more responsibility and the boys seem to have more on their plates (which really means my plate:)) While I am thrilled with my work/life balance and the way things have fallen into place….this past week made me long for the days of browsing Target on a Tuesday morning without the kids.

I applaud all those moms who work full time outside the home and juggle all of their mom duties. I am not afraid to say that I could not do it…I would crumble. The work hours I have now are all I can take with Jake and Sam…..one more a week and I think I’ll reach a tipping point! I just hope that the short month at school will mean a little less stress and a lot more relaxing

What about you? Does this time of year up your stress level?

Sisters.  There really aren’t words to describe the bonds they share despite the age differences or the personality differences.  My two girls are 9 years apart in age.  Yet, they are two peas in a pod when they are together.  They love and dislike each other at times.  Even a 1 year old can communicate that.  As one of my favorite authors says, “Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply…  “~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814

Everyone of us wants to belong and be accepted.  It is within the family that we develop and realize the importance and feel loved.   With tweens they are starting to spend more time away from the family and that is why it is all the more important to spend time together fostering these bonds.  I have realized that my tween needs her space.  She loves her siblings and her parents, but she needs time to process,think and create for herself as well.  We are learning to respect that and at the same time to stay connected and close as a family.

Here are some tips to foster family relationships:

Spend Time Together- set time apart to enjoy activities & play together without a schedule or time frame.

Have fun! Life has enough stressors, remember to just have a little fun together and laugh!

Eat Meals Together- eat at least one meal together as a family around a table where you can reconnect, talk, and try not to rush eating or the discussion.

Express Yourselves Frequently and Freely- share gratitude, notice the little things each other do, express your love and admiration for each person in the family.

Exercise Together- being a healthy and fit family is a job for everyone, find fun activities you all enjoy so that you can get your exercise in and the kids are involved and having fun!

Work Together- teach your children to work with you, it will help them learn life skills and it will make everyone feel like a contributing member of the family.

Stop Comparing and Celebrate Uniqueness-each person in the family has strengths, focus on those not the differences!

Worship Together- whatever your religion may be, it is important to teach your children values, standards and beliefs.

From previous posts you may know that my husband is away at a Marine Corps Intelligence school in Virginia. It is about a 4.5 hour drive so we thought we would be able to visit a couple of times a month. Well….that has not worked out so well. Kerry has been gone about a month now and we have seen him once. Each weekend when he thinks he will get home, he realizes he has too much work to do and he does not make it. Needless to say, Jake and Sam are not too happy with this arrangement.

Smiles all around when Dad's home

Kerry has missed a lot in the past few years with deployments. From January 2007-September 2010 he was only home 19 months total.  We really thought that this school would be an easy separation since he was only in VA, but the nature of the course means he cannot take course materials home…not even to his room there in VA. This really keeps him there when he has work to complete over the weekend and so far..that has been every weekend!

We are all supposed to meet in DC this coming week for a White House Tour. We decided to put the boys on notice that he may not make it. The past two weekends they expected him home with countdowns and all only to be disappointed. I know this is hard on Kerry too so we will just hope that DC works for all of us…..keep you posted!

Have your Tweens had to deal with separation from a parent? Share your experiences?